This past weekend K and I went to one of our social events with new friends. We're new to this group so we're still getting to know everyone, which is always awkward (see my previous blog where I explain how these situations make me BONKERS).
Anyway for some reason one of the members of the group is particularly disliked by the rest of the group. I guess they have a long history of dislike and it has formed quite the hatred and anger towards her. Every time we are there she is the topic of conversation and their dislike. Its super frustrating and it makes it very hard for me to like/get comfortable with this group.
Do people every consider that their meanness towards others actually poorly reflects themselves? Every time they tease or dis-include or make comments it makes it harder to like them or trust them or even want to spend time with them again. It just shows their lack of character and class and its hugely upsetting.
At what point does a dislike for someone turn into a full blown hate that requires verbal bashing, disdain and constant judgment?
The hard part is I can see where they are annoyed by her but their hate and anger I can only conclude comes from other personal experiences, I just wish they did not have to emanate in every interaction or every conversation.
I don't understand it and I sometimes find interactions with people to be difficult or strained or painfully awkward or inappropriate. But I would hate for anyone to ever feel like I was not a loving caring person. I know that there are some people in my past that are easier to get along with than others, and I know there are some people that just like to push my buttons. I personally try to avoid those people as I would rather limit my interactions be they negative or positive than show a side of myself that I'm not proud or impressed with.
What do you do when your forced to interact with someone that you dislike. How do you keep your dislike from turning you into a lesser than ideal version of yourself? What do you do to be empathetic or kind with those who you disagree with.
D
4 comments:
Hmmm...you asked some hard questions. When I'm forced to hang out with someone I dislike, I try not to let that person feel uncomfortable. I mean, that's just mean. I can't remember the last time I had to hang out with someone I didn't like, although I do have to work with one of those people. I just avoid her at all costs. But seriously, if these people hate this woman so much, why even bother with her??! And when do we finally graduate from high school? That's what I want to know. These petty jealousies and back-stabbing just drive me insane!! BLAH!!! ;-) TGIF!
Well said. I often think of this with my mother. She is mean, but thinks that her meanness makes her look "cool" or "powerful" when it actually makes her look stupid. Harsh words, harsh truth.
I agree with your earlier commenter Jamie & Sara - talking about someone else in a judgmental and harsh way really only reflects badly on the person doing the talking.
And I would def be weary of these folks if they all seem on board with that kind of snootiness. If they can do it to one person, they are likely to do it to others. Maybe be acquaintances with them- but be weary letting them into your heart. just my two cents.
at this point in my life, I don't have time to deal with people that aren't my favorites. I'm always polite, but I won't go out of my way to pull the conversation out of them, or to feel like a fake version of myself. I want to invest the time with those who like me!!!
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