Never

So last nite was the strangest, borderline upsetting sleep I have had in a long time.. Unlike the "SLEEP STUDY" (which I say with like a horror movie trailer voice), I slept for a long period of time and feel moderately rested today, it was a strange evening.

I'm usually a pretty good sleeper. I prefer to sleep in the cold/cool air with a few blankets swaddling me like a cocoon. I like to have my ears covered (which I know is strange but its how I roll), and while my feet must be covered by blankets I do not like socks or tight clothing.

So last nite it was moderately cold in comparison to our recent weather (although nothing like the shock I'm expecting in TX this weekend!),, recently its been in the 70/80s and we've been putting the A/C on to get that cool air in the room while we sleep. Well in the past few nites its dropped in temperature enough that with a window open we get a great breeze.

Last nite,,, the strangeness.

Last nite I was both hot and cold SIMULTaneously! When i was under my normally cozy blankets I would awaken in a full hot sweat but then if I removed even a part of my blankets I would be freezing cold. So I kept trying to leave part of my body out of the blankets and most under, so I had my hand or my food or my head out and the rest of me in!. It was most strange.

How is it that your body cant temperature regulate from one appendage to another I wonder? You would think with my newfound interest in being active and working out that my body would better be able to regulate and yet,, notsomuch.

its all very peplexing.. but I hope to sleep more (and better!) this evening!

D

The FB Green Eyed Monster

I think facebook has brought me to a whole level of new envy. I believe its because I'm a Scorpio so I tend to be very intense about relationships and interactions. Facebook has 'in a sense' let me into the lives of those that I have various levels of frienship with and allowed me a glance into their wedding day, or honeymoon, or birthday, or their trip home to see their family.

To be fair, I'm sure my pictures would also reflect on my life and family/friends. I'm sure they reflect that I have a great but fully ridiculous family that I cherish and love, and friends that bring out the silly and joyeous in myself also. Its possible that it reflects my travels to various locations and the escapades that ensue.

So where does the envy come into play? When I see those friends of mine who are 5 or 10 years younger than me who are showing me the house they've built and are now decorating, when they show me the wedding they had at the most expensive place with like 500 of their closest friends, when they catalog their travels to italy,ireland, japan, alaska wherever, and it is as fabulous and beautiful as I would expect and hope to someday see it to be.

So you might say (as I have said to self), "Its awesome that you get to share these experiences with others and you do not walk in your shoes so you cannot determine what decisions they made that lead them to this vacation/house/weekend/day. You should feel lucky and blessed by things you have and not the things you do not.

To which I say repeatedly BAH!!!BAH BAH!!!.
All true things!
I am lucky, I am blessed..
and if there were not things to strive for in life then what would be the point!?

But that does not make me any less envious of those who can travel freely without the impending doom I feel in my stomach when the mention of an 'emergency savings' is presented... OR Heaven Help me the discussion of 'student loans'... Oy!!

So I'm going to do my best to keep a positive spin on others decisions and be more positive in my own decision making, so that I can work towards my long and short term goals in my own time and not let the green eyed monster make me nuttier than I already am.

But I'm pretty sure its entirely facebooks' fault and none of my own!:)
hehe
D

Sleep Study

Last week I met with a TMJ Specialist (tempero-mandibular joint). I have been problems with TMJ since I lived in NYC. Frankly I've had lots of stress-related health problems while I was living there and few have continued since I have returned home (my feet are back to normal, no more blepherospasming (eye twitching but doesnt that sound better!), very few and far between migranes, and rare IBS problems (most likely due to NOT eating pizza daily)...

Anyway,, one problem that has stuck around is my jaw-pain. It actually intensifies whenever I have dental work done (so every 6 months for checkups and whatnot). When this happens I'm on motrin or advil solid every 4 hrs like clockwork. This past 3 weeks I decided the pain and difficulty sleeping due to the pain was no longer manageable and I needed to look further into it.

So I saw the specialist. They evaluated my teeth, jaw, muscles all kinds of things and he suggested I go for a sleep study to evaluate if I may have sleep apnea. He said that often times when someone clenches (me) or grinds their teeth(not me),, its a product of our bodies fighting ourselves to do anythign to get oxygen in because the airway is constricted. Having exceptionally large tonsils may also be a contributing factor and I'm having that investigated also.

So I called the ENT peoples and will be seeing them Oct2nd,,,, and the Sleep study said I could either wait till Oct 30 or come that nite (yesterday). I really hate postponing things that make me nervous/anxious so I just signed up, knowing that from 9-5:30 I would be tortured and then still have to work 7:30-6.

Regardless,, Git er done! That was the mentality.

needless to say the mentality proved to worsen my mental, physical and psychological states all within about 12 hrs.

For this study you get the 'pleasure' of sleeping in one of their rooms while being video monitored, hooked up to approximately 30 electrodes all over my body and face, probe-y things up my nose (taped to my face), and on my legs (so I can barely move). Then they say 'okay go to sleep'.. On TOP of that they tell me, 'in the middle of the nite we'll be waking you to put a CPAP machine on to see if you improve'...

PS... You cant have a clock in there with you according to AMA Board of whomever guidelines.

So I toss and turn, and tear off the electrodes and have to wait for them to notice they're not getting any readings, and keep the pokey thing from puncturing my nosril (psychologically i know that it will not but im kinda losing it!) by not making any sharp movements. Mind you, because I knew this sleep study was about to be scheduled I totally was blessed to have my friend Tina not only walk around the block to help me wear myself out, but also bought me a turkey sandwich to help me prepare mentally for sleep (tryptophan and all that).

So I toss for about 2 hrs at least. I had a few moments where I was about to fall asleep, and then I'd hear an employee in the hallway or something would pull/poke at me. Very unhappy. I must have passed out at some point cuz I recall waking up and freaking out about what time it was. I was convinced that it was like 2 or 3 am and I was annoyed that the employees didnt come hook me up to the CPAP then instead of making me work hard to fall asleep again and then come harass me.

I only found out after 'not sleeping' again for about an hr that it was actually time to go home, and they came in to take the electrodes off and detangle me. I left at 5am, went home and showered all the 'conductive goo' off of my head and scrubbed my body as best I could and napped for 30 min before waking up to go to work for 10 hrs. UGH

I was beyond exhausted that whole day, walking into things cause my spatial awareness was misaligned and overall a walking dead. It was horrible, and I'm not sure if I had taken the day off if the psychological thriller that was the 'sleep study' was worth it.

I now pray to the gods of all religions that I dont have apnea and that my MD will cancel any futher testing at the sleep center as the mere idea of going back there makes me feel nauseous and panicy all at once.

ugh
D

Exercise

So for a solid week I woke up before work, went to the gym, did a 30 min cross training cardio workout and showered and headed to work. It was amazing and invigorating and I felt like I could take on the world. I ate much better during the day and in my old WW brain had enough points to satisfy but not stuff!.

This week has been less successful. Each morning as I am alerted by my alarm I reset it to sleep for an additional 45 minutes and deny the workout invogorating experience. I have woken with a few migraine headaches which I think may be associated with dental work I had done last friday, and more than likely life stresses accompany the cause.

Surprisingly, I'm not defeated and I plan on trying again next week to return to the morning workout. Because I really cherish my post-work free time with friends, family, phones and tv the pre-work workout is really the only stable workout that I forsee lasting for more than a week. I just sometimes wish there were more hours in the morning post 5;59am...getting up before that is really not happening, and when you forget things or need extra time for wiggle room it would be nice.

baby steps! (right laura!?)
D